God and I had a heart to heart this week. I've struggled for health over the last 20 years. It's been a haul. But a while back, God whispered that He would heal me…and He even put a timeframe on it.
Do you know how scary that is to write? What if it doesn't happen? What if God forgets? What if I heard wrong? What if it was just indigestion?
So many ways to fall into fear instead of faith. As November approaches, these thoughts race through my mind as my body continues to ache and groan for healing. Nice people keep asking if I'm feeling any better. Well, no I don't. Not yet. My detox practitioner sometimes asks me to do strange things, all in hopes of bolstering my cells and ridding them of toxins, viruses, and bacteria I can't pronounce.
And yet, I'm still waiting.
All logic would point to this miracle being a flop. I could hide. Is God REALLY going to show up? The enemy taunts.
This I know: While I’m waiting, God is working.
I had a conversation with God this morning. Here's a snippet, and a pretty intimate window into my soul…so please be gracious as you read. (God's part of the dialogue is in italics.)
"Wow Lord. You really are going to heal me aren't You?
I see the beginning and the end. I AM the Beginning and the End. I punctuate the stories of everyone who asks, seeks, and knocks. You have asked, seeked, and knocked. Even when you have been knocked down, you continue to knock. You have cultivated the soil of faith. With faith comes fruit. Wait for it. Do not strive for this healing. I will give it to you. Your hand is in Mine. Therefore, I will hand it to you. It will be a swift transfer. It runs through the pipeline of trust. Trust activates the transfer, the flow of My healing power. You need only to stay in trust with Me.
Don't listen to the Liar, the doubt, the fear. My love is perfect. And perfect Love casts out fear. Whisper My name when that "what if" begins to sneak into your thoughts. It is only natural to have those thoughts as November is approaching. Do not fear. I AM with you. I have not forgotten you, or failed to remember what I whispered to you 5 years ago. I see you. I do not have math problems, or timing issues. I remember exactly what I told you. You cannot do this for yourself. Keep your hand in Mine. And I will hand deliver it to you. This is your gift, out of the goodness of My Name and My character - I will gift this complete healing to you…The miracle is inevitable. Wait for it. I AM healing you. I promise."
The miracle is inevitable? Yeah...that's what He said. So there you have it. Then I went and had a good cry.
"But for you who revere my name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its rays. And you will go out and frolic like well-fed calves."
I can't wait to frolic.