As I've continued in my healing journey this month, the Lord brought an interesting memory to mind.
When I went to Azusa Pacific University, I was in two different choirs during my time there. I played piano and accompanied the 100-person ladies choir, Bel Canto. I also sang in the University Choir and Orchestra for a year. During both of those years, we sang a song called, "All His Benefits." Something about that song resonated so deeply in me, even back then. The lyrics are taken directly from Psalm 103.
Psalm 103:2-5 (NIV):
Praise the Lord, my soul,
and forget not all his benefits—
who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
I remember aching for God to heal all my diseases. I remember the energy I once had. I wanted my youth to renew like the eagle's. I recall so vividly how these verses drew me into the heart of God.
God is able to heal all our diseases, but sometimes He waits. And we find ourselves asking "Why?"
Let me pose a question. If God's ways are higher than ours; if His thoughts are higher than ours; if He is unquestionably more wise than us; do we think we would truly understand His explanation or "Why" behind things? I'm beginning to think part of the reason He withholds the answers to our "why" questions is simply because it's gracious. We literally can't handle the truth. He calls us to breath in faith, and breath out fear. When we do this, we learn what it means to really live. Because life requires breath.
I don't have all the answers. But I know I have a trust that's deeper than its ever been. I have a confidence in the character and kindness of God I never would have understood without all the pain, suffering and sickness.
I encourage you to let this song breathe new life into you. Let it sweep over you. I pray this beautiful Psalm meets you wherever you are. Click on the links below to listen.
ALL HIS BENEFITS. (Choral/orchestral arrangement.)
ALL HIS BENEFITS - ANGELA CRUZ. (More contemporary arrangement)
I am still feeling good. My stomach/pancreas is feeling good. My energy is up. I took maybe 2 naps last week. (That has to be a record low.) I stayed awake the entire time Derek and I drove from Nashville to Denver. I did a 60-minute concert with a cold and did not lose or fatigue my voice. Hello? I even had normal voice to talk and chat with folks afterward. Usually I sound hoarse after I sing because my vocal chords fatigue and swell. Not this time. And also, I didn't experience the "concert crash" I usually have when I get back home. Pretty awesome.
My husband and I decided to share a sinus cold, so we are both working through that. But…that's normal stuff. My inner Registered Nurse would like to gently remind you to wash your hands frequently and drink plenty of clean water as we head into this cold/flu season. The #1 way to prevent the spread of colds is hand-washing. Not rocket science. (And cover those sneezes and coughs. That's just polite.)
Be kind to each other. Have a great week!