When Christmas Is Gray

Photo: Andrew Neel

Photo: Andrew Neel

Sometimes life isn't as black and white as I'd like it to be. It would be more comfortable and secure if things were clear-cut, delineated, exact. Am I right?


For instance, it would be great if every symptom I've experience over the Lyme years completely vanished on Saturday, November 12, 2016. Most symptoms vanished for a period of time, especially on the actual night. But, some of the symptoms are ramping back up, creeping back in, weaseling their way into my life. And that's confusing. Isn't it? I wish we had the 6-month, 1-year, or even 5-year follow up with the people Jesus healed in the stories of Scripture. How many relapsed? Did any? How many continued in their sin? How many could see physically but remained spiritually blind? Did any lepers have weird lesions on their skin that made them doubt, question, or get concerned? I just wonder.


When these gray moments come to mind, or when I'm having to pull my heating pad back out because of abdominal pain, I keep reminding myself of the things I know to be true.


  1. Jesus did something Nov. 12. It was supernatural. It was physical. And it was unquestionable healing.
  2. God finishes what He starts. And He started something.
  3. God's ways and thoughts are not my own. I can't predict the hand of God. I can't force it either. But prayer is powerful, and makes a difference.
  4. There is a spiritual reality every bit as real as our physical reality. Not everything is a demonic or Satanic assault. But spiritual warfare is going on all around us, even though we don't always see, taste, touch, hear, or smell it. (Though sometimes we do…) And next week I'll tell you about one experience I had this week. It was wild!


Anyway, I'm sticking to what I know. I'm letting God grow me. My palms are up. And I'm looking forward to the day when I truly get to retire my heating pad. In the meantime, in the gray, I hope you'll choose to trust, to keep your palms up too, and continue surrendering to Jesus.


We can't predict the hand of God. We can't force it either. But prayer is powerful & makes a difference.

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I made a Christmas playlist for you on Spotify.  These are some of my favorite Christmas songs this year. Sometimes I get kinda bored of the stuff on the radio, and I like a mixture of the sacred Christmas hymns and Santa. If you want to check out the playlist, click here:



Here are two videos of the songs from that playlist:

O Come, O Come Emmanuel - JJ HELLER

What A Glorious Night - Sidewalk Prophets


By the way, how's the December Prayer month going? I confess I've missed a few days, but it has been cool to have a specific thing to pray for each day. I hope you'll join me in this journey. It's not too late!




Have a great week!



Rachel B.